Views and opinions… they are everywhere! Unless you are currently living under a rock you may have noticed that the freedom of speech is alive and well. Especially in the online world where audiences are wide and anonymity is afforded. Everyone has something to say about something. Of course, comments are not always pleasant, which is fine considering there are a lot of troublesome issues that need our attention.
Honest and respectful dialogue is always good for relationships, but things can go south quickly when tone and content lean toward nasty, blame-shame conversations. No one likes to be “should upon”! When that occurs mutual trust tarnishes and people either lash back or shrink away from one another.
I’m all for self-expression but there is a difference between respectful constructive criticism and downright nasty-pants no-holds-barred attacks! I’m sure we’ve all experienced and expressed both. It’s easy to bite the emotional hook of an argument and fall into, “oh yay, what about… blah blah” in defense. Relationships are not easy but we all know the power that a kind word or two can inspire.
As a rule, I try (keyword is try) to adhere to the adage, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
Of course, this can be difficult to achieve in our outer world, I do think it is something we need to take to heart when we self-talk about ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I admit there was a time when self-denigration ran rampant in my thoughts. My disability and the frustrations of my limitations made me easy pickings, even for me! I would say things to myself that I would not dream of saying to another person.
I shudder to think about it now, but I can tell you that once I shed that nasty habit my life improved on many levels.
It certainly does take more effort on days when I’m not feeling bright and chipper (happens to us all) but that’s when my best friend in the mirror gives me “a-talkin’ to” and reminds me that she is listening.
Speak to yourself with kindness because you are listening.